It's impossible being me, I radiate a glow that makes others turn and grimace in horror as if staring into the sun.

Do you think Radiohead is my whole goddamn life? I also have a roadside cart where I sell apples and mincemeat pies.

If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior.

I'd like to run for president. Or Prime Minister. I think I could do a better job.

I could blow bubbles. Bubbles would solve any dilemma we face. If bubbles were president there would be no war.

I can't wait to die so I can be a skeleton and play my chest like a xylophone.

It turns out I have clinical schizophrenia. The unborn chicken voices were telling me to kill my family.