It's impossible being me, I radiate a glow that makes others turn and grimace in horror as if staring into the sun.

Ironically my brother died in a car accident shortly after Airbag was recorded. He's not an identical twin so I didn't care.

Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified.

I'm not afraid of computers taking over the world. They're just sitting there. I can hit them with a two by four.

One little leak becomes a lake, Says the tiny voice in my earpiece

Look at that fat kid, in the audience. You want some pie you little fatty? I strongly dislike fat kids. Security, please remove him, that fat kid, over there, by the pies.

The allegations of me being a pedophile are spurious, at best. However I will admit that taking my knickers off in the park and having an Easter Egg hunt with those apple-cheeked four year olds was in my best interest and not theirs