I'd like to run for president. Or Prime Minister. I think I could do a better job.

The joke is that U2's new record only looked like a virus. Enjoy mining bitcoins for me losers.

I wrote a lot of stuff quickly: pages and pages of notes that seemed pretty incoherent at first. Most of it was taken from the radio because -suddenly being a parent- I'd be confronted by the radio giving a news report every hour of the day.

I tell you what's really ridiculous--going into a bookstore and there's all these books about yourself. In a way, it feels like you're already dead.

I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.

If Radiohead were a fruit we would be apples, because apples are festive

Most of my dancing is actually convulsions from having to listen to my own music