My uncle used to sit me on his lap and play "ventriloquist", only I wasn't wearing pants.

I think what makes people ill a lot of the time is the belief that your thoughts are concrete and that you're responsible for your thoughts. Whereas actually - the way I see it - your thoughts are what the wind blows through your mind.

If you're bored of the songs, you're bored of the songs. There's not much you can do.

I'm Chris Martin with down syndrome

I see fat kids on the street all the time and I give them free radiohead t-shirts with bullseyes on them. Later when I see them wearing the t-shirts I shoot at them with bb guns while riding a very large dog and singing kicking squealing gucci little piggy over and over

Well actually I'm not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me.

My nickname in high school was jack-o-lantern because I'm missing 9 teeth