I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.

When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.

Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. A typhoon couldn't blow that thing off their heads. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.

Before Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.