A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, "Dad's an idiot," which lasted a little longer than I'd like.

I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.