I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don't do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn't like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I'd probably eat vegetables.

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.

In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.

The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.