Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it.

Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.