I've gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I'm back to a flip-phone. It's funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they're considered antiques.

I am a thespian trapped in a man's body.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart.

Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

I blend memories. I blend them into one that's funny. I exaggerate to clarify.