I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. Topo Gigio

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.