Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.

I'm one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

I've gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I'm back to a flip-phone. It's funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they're considered antiques.

I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.