To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.