Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.

Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a moment that will stick with me forever.

I blend memories. I blend them into one that's funny. I exaggerate to clarify.