Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.

The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.

My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.