The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.
I have a thing for tools.
All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. A typhoon couldn't blow that thing off their heads. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.