The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.

Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. Topo Gigio