Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. A typhoon couldn't blow that thing off their heads. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.

I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.