I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.

But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.

I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

I blend memories. I blend them into one that's funny. I exaggerate to clarify.