I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.

I'm actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.

I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)