There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

But separate a man from his car - that's inhuman.

Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. A typhoon couldn't blow that thing off their heads. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.

Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.

Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.