My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.

I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did.

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.

Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.

Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.