If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.

So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".

Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets.

So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'