I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

I'll tell you what makes my blood boil?... Crematoriums.

I love acting, but it's all just a bonus.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.