I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.

I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

One of the things I like about when I tour sometimes is that occasionally you'll see a dad there with his 12-year-old son and they're both enjoying it.