Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.

When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.