My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul.

Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets.

Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.