I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.

If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.

One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out

Velcro: what a rip-off.