I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke

Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.