I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

My DVD cellophane was put on by a psychiatrist. It was shrink-wrapped.

Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out