I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.
If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'