You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'