Many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.

Your initiations are worthwhile.

[Please let my daughter] not have to wear high heels.

The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it's basically a happy accident that you think you're initiating.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

If you’re looking for a spiritual allegory in the style of C.S. Lewis, I guess you could piece something together with Lorne Michaels as a symbol for God and my struggles with hair removal as a metaphor for virtue

I want to spend time with Oprah and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen.