Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.

This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

You can't control things by being nervous.

I don't really have a nemesis, but I have a series of hundreds of small enemies that fuel me. Everyone I meet I assume is out to get me and that fuels my fire on a daily basis.

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

You’re in competition with everyone.