A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books".

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.