So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

So a man jumps into a taxi and says "King Arthur's close" and the taxi driver says, "don't worry we'll lose him at the next lights".

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.