Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.

And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns.