Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'

A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.