I always sit in the tail end of a plane, always. You never hear of an plane backing into a mountain.
Tommy CooperA policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot.
Tommy CooperA man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"
Tommy Cooper