I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.

People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

I can't watch American Idol... it's like karaoke without the booze.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned.

A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.