I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.

Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them

Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.

Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)

My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.