You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

The haters always scream the loudest.

Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.

TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV; you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.

Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.

The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.

I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.