You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.

Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.

I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.

What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.