I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating.

TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV; you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.

The dumbest women I hooked up with were in Florida. I lived in Florida for a year... and it was just shocking. I literally felt like after living there for a couple months that I had become stupider. It was unbelievable. If you read the stories on my site that are based around crazy women, about 75 percent of those women were in Florida… and I only lived there for a year.

You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.

Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.

Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want