I'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I know plenty of people who do crazier stuff than I do.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.

Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.

My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: "Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?