Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.

Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.

If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.

Great careers are getting easier to find and audition for, but harder to keep.

If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.