A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.

If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.

I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.

The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.

If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.