I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.

The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.

Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore.

The dumbest women I hooked up with were in Florida. I lived in Florida for a year... and it was just shocking. I literally felt like after living there for a couple months that I had become stupider. It was unbelievable. If you read the stories on my site that are based around crazy women, about 75 percent of those women were in Florida… and I only lived there for a year.