I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.

I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)

The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.

You know that look a cop gives you when he's so confused that he doesn't even know how to respond? If you don't know that look, it means you haven't had enough fun in your life.

People have proven over and over that they will read if they are given something they like. The problem with reading is not reading, its that almost everything out there sucks. For so long, publishing has been run by a cartel of snobby pseudo-intellectual failed writers, and the resulting output has reflected not what the market wants, but what they think people are supposed to read.

You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.