I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.

My buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, "Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this."

What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.

To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

The haters always scream the loudest.

It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.

You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.