Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.

Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.

And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.