If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.

If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.

A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.

Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.

I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.

But here's the thing about being honest: All the liars HATE you for it, and most of the people in the world are liars. They lie to their bosses, they lie to their families, they lie to themselves, they lie so much they don't even know they're lying anymore. If you have the courage to be honest even a little bit all those people will hate you for it, because their lie is reflected in your honesty. Oscar Wilde wasn't kidding when he said, "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."