If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.

I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".

Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none.