Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.

Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.