Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.

The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.

Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.

Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stories and anecdotes about abortion that they could name a Planned Parenthood clinic after me.

TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV; you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.

Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.