...the elephant smoked too much.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!

Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.