...the elephant smoked too much.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.

It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.