What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.