In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.

It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.