In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.

If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.